Operating Presuppositions
Overview
We operationalize our core values using some key presuppositions derived from personal empirical evidence. The presuppositions we documented in the following paragraphs are frames we find useful for:
Building trust quickly, and deeply.
Enhancing the quality of communications.
Creating alignment between key stakeholders.
Growing self-awareness.
Recognizing and filtering out personal bias and non-useful forms of judgement.
Note: we do not consider the following presuppositions to be ‘universal truths.’ Instead, they are lenses we can put on (or take off) at choice.
Everyone is Doing their Best Given the Information They Have
Nobody wakes up with the conscious intention to perform poorly at anything in life. If someone is stuck in a limiting pattern of behavior, that person does not have access to information to make better decisions. The objective is to understand what information is missing for a specific individual, and facilitate the communication of that missing information to them effectively.
Human beings are experts at generalizing, deleting, and distorting information— this is a convenient way to organize infinitely abundant information so we can function in the world without having to consciously compute and re-compute the world every single moment of our lives. When communicating with others, it is useful to identify what information someone is generalizing, deleting, or distorting.
Every Behavior is Useful in Some Context
Grabbing a colleague’s torso from behind while he/she is making a coffee is likely an inappropriate behavior for building trust in the workplace. However, lifeguards who are rescuing a drowning, panicking individual, are taught to approach from behind and secure the drowning person’s torso— doing so minimizes the risk that their subject will grab onto them and drown them. Every behavior is useful in some context. If behavior is bewildering, there is a good chance that the behavior has been inappropriately contextualized.
All Roads Lead to a Feeling
Human beings navigate life using their emotions— having emotions and making logical, rational decisions, are not mutually exclusive. While human beings want tangible, material, measurable outcomes in their lives— ultimately, they also want to experience a positive feeling. To clarify: tangible, material, measurable outcomes, are still important and necessary. However, if an experience, activity, or achievement does not feel good for someone, that person will not have the experience they are succeeding.
Language Provides a Low-Definition Representation for Our Experience
The language (verbal and non-verbal cues) we use to describe an experience is not the experience itself; rather, a representation of the experience. Whenever we have an experience we want to communicate to another— positive or negative— we use several external behaviors to communicate that. For example, we might send a combination of words via email/text, voice, and gesture with our bodies.
In using language to communicate with one another, human beings can use numerous permutations of words (sentences) to describe a single experience. While language allows for individual expression, it also allows for great misinterpretation of our communication due to our personal biases. How do you know for sure that you understand what someone means when they communicate with you?
The ‘Meaning We Make’ is the Communication We Get
Unless someone touches you physically, triggering a tactile-kinesthetic response, no one can make you feel anything. They can, however, provide the external stimuli— the things we perceive using our five senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory— all from which we assign meaning to. The meaning we assign to external stimuli is what governs our experience of a situation.
The human brain is an association, meaning-making machine. We make meaning every day about everything. If someone does not receive our communication the way we intend, we have the opportunity to adjust our communication until they do.
It is Useful to Distinguish Behavior from ‘Self’
Imagine a man cuts you off as you drive on the road, nearly causing a traffic accident. Later, you find out that man was rushing home because his young son is ill and going into shock. It is difficult to conclude what sort of man he is based on his behavior alone. It is useful to distinguish the behavior from the ‘Self’ that is generating that behavior.
For example, there are no terrible salesmen or saleswomen — only people who don’t possess the behavioral capabilities to perform well in a specific sales context. There are no good salesmen or saleswomen — only people who do possess the behavioral capabilities to perform well in a specific sales context. If something isn’t working for someone, it is not because they are flawed in character (Self); rather, it is feedback that one can evaluate to learn from and take new actions.
The Prime Objective of Human Beings is Values-Fulfillment
Values are representations—things, activities, interactions, and subject-matters— that we deem to be most important in our lives. Our hierarchy of values— most important to least important— determines what we filter for in life, and more importantly, what we use to govern our decision-making processes.
When we idolize someone (make ourselves inferior), we typically inject their values at the expense of our own, try to be someone we are not, and often, we end up frustrated and diminished because we are trying to live a fantasy that isn't true to our nature. On the other hand, if we position ourselves as superior to others, we typically project our values onto others, trying to force them to be someone they are not. When we put ourselves 'above' others, so to speak, we end up feeling lonely, isolated, and without peers.
To live in alignment with our core values— and help others align with theirs— we must respectfully align and build relationships with others in our life without placing ourselves below or above them.